Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Solitude

This blog over the years has become my safe place, my haven.  It’s very cathartic.  We all have moments of sadness.  This weekend the loneliness was palpable.  I keep busy, cleaning cooking shopping taking care of what needs to get done.  I’m on the phone and texting friends, having lunches.. etc.  But in the middle of the morning routine of Sunday dishes coffee and laundry, I just broke.  I sat down, put my head down and gave up.  Sometimes you just need a good cry.  I’ll spare you the reasons or multitude there of.  I gave in, and took to the blog.  I need to realize that there is strength in solitude.  I MUST process grief.  The only thing that’s going to help is time.  I may never understand why things happen to me the way that they do, but I can make lemonade from lemons even through the worst of times.  As sad as I am, there are so many others in the same spot.

Sometimes the blog is to inspire, and sometimes it’s just a place to express myself.  Today it’s a place of healing.  Thank you for being here..

Namaste

yep

What if?

I have been dealing with different emotional issues the past couple of months.  I know what you’re thinking, and you’re 100% correct!  Everyone does.  Here’s my thought process though.   Yesterday [I know I am not supposed to work on Sunday but work is work for me so I take care of clients when I can] I had several Soul Realignment readings to complete.  One of them in particular stood out for me.  I will use their initials for reference because all readings are confidential.  So after my reading was completed with DG, it was time to walk the dog before my next one.  As I was walking out the door, I had several short conversations with my guides as to how the status of their reading went and how excited/renewed spiritually I was.  Giving clients accurate readings IS the utmost thrilling thing that can happen for me.  I was on point with receiving the information as I was scrying, and my own thought patterns and opinions did not get in the way.  It was [even after 30 years] thrilling to do.  I’m ever grateful to the divine for the gift.  But DG’s reading also caused me to stop and take pause/stock of my own situation.  You see, their reading was for lack of a better description- AFREAKINGMAZING.  And it was only amazing because there was very little to clear.  Over and over again I was given information about their own personal journey and how repeatedly in this lifetime THEY THEMSELVES had been “working” on their best path and purpose.  Someone who actually was taking great advice and working through issues on a daily basis.

As an individual you never really like to toot your own horn.  Part of the human condition is doubting ones self and not trusting you’re always making the best decisions.  But in DG’s case they were!  I was so thrilled to see someone “talk the talk and walk the walk” spiritually for their own benefit.  Bravo DG!  So getting back to my own revelation, I stopped outside my own front door and thought, wait… wait wait.. isn’t this what you do?  Why aren’t you practicing what you preach?  I have been in an emotional loop of dread for 3 months now.  And then I heard it.  “You know that’s an emotional program running on your chakras right? You did that.  You fed it your energies and now clear yourself duh”.  I laughed and felt a weight lifted.  I returned with the dog, wrote a clearing sheet on me, and performed the applicable affirmations.  I have been in a light headed daze ever since.  24 hours later?  what seemed to have effected me [the core issues] don’t really come to mind.  I just don’t care any more.  I slept like a baby, the bags under my eyes are gone and it’s a beautiful day!

Thank you DG for inspiring the teacher.  It just goes to show you, you’re never to old to learn how to practice what you preach.  I have cleared the way for healthier emotional connections to come my way.

Namaste

yep

 

I was driving home this weekend from a mini road trip about 3 hours south of me when I got stuck in this horrible downpour.  I’ve never experienced a micro burst [tornado weather] but I think I did yesterday.  My car was solid, tires were fine, it’s a heavy vehicle right?  Traffic had slowed from 80mph to 30mph and on the left side of my view it was pitch black.  On the right, it was bright as could be, no clouds.  Something was rolling in.  Here come the emergency vehicles one by one.  Everyone pulls over, then rushes back to follow the police car because the path has been cleared.  No one knew what surprises lurked around the bend.  Winds were at 50-60 mph and the storm hit us quick.  Mile after mile people were on the side of the roads, because they couldn’t see. Semi-trucks and all other vehicles were pulled over.  And here I was crawling along thinking oh this isn’t bad.  Until I tried to roll down the window for air and nearly got blown out of the lane.  I got the hint!  I pulled over and waited it out.  I spent 20 minutes with my emergencies on [it was the only way drivers behind you could see you were in a spot on the side of the road because real estate was valuable at this point wherever you could get it] waiting for the rain to let up.  I took several videos of the mayhem going on around me.  And all I could think to myself was, you’re an idiot.  What made me think I could out maneuver all the other vehicles on the road and just coast right out of mother nature.

Lesson of the day?  When you are in trouble or uncertain of what to do [in any life situation].  PULL OVER! [figuratively].   Stop, cease, desist!  Just press pause. I can promise you there will be no time lost.  We must learn to lose our own egos and self-rationalization for the greater good of all, mainly ourselves.  Think about it?  This applies to every single solitary problem you’ve ever encountered.  There are always things we’ve said and done in the past that [hindsight is 20/20] we wished had gone a different way.

Stop and think about it..Namaste

quote-willa-cather (2)

 

I have been slowly removing myself from a previous life choice.  Distancing myself, unraveling so to speak.  But it is a time consuming task [Rome wasn’t built or torn down in a day].  So I have had to bide my time and wait on the results of a situation [beyond my control].  Lately I feel immense pain and pressure/stress because financially it is taxing.  But it worsens whenever this other person rears their ugly head.  People are no longer in your lives for a reason.  I’m officially putting the universe on BLAST right now.  I’m asking them to remove this person and the entire situation from my life.  I am consistently forced to look back when all I have in front of me is a bright future with better choices.

I have also been experiencing shoulder and back pain.  Upper back pain (from the tenth dorsal vertebra (the waist) to the cervical, or neck area) represents emotional insecurity. Doing is very important to you. It’s your way of showing and giving love to others. If someone does something for you, you feel loved and secure[this is a fact-my love language has always been acts of service].  However, your back pain might provide you the perfect excuse not to do everything for others, as you may fear that by doing too much, others won’t help you anymore [this is also true-because no matter how much I do for others it is never reciprocated-im not being a martyr or hypocrite, it’s just the observation.  I do these things of my own free will for kindness and karmic purposes-but in this particular case dealing with the previous person described above? they are pretty useless and lazy and will not help any situation move along].

You expect a lot from others and when your expectations are not met you may feel you have a lot on your back. You have difficulty asking for help or support from others. When you do finally decide to do so and don’t receive the help, you feel ‘stuck’ and your back worsens.  Upper back pain could also mean that you feel somebody is watching you, that they’re on your back all the time.

I must review better ways to deal with the stress.

Namaste

Being Vulnerable

I moved this past week.  It was a struggle to say the least.  I have a senior dog, just out of a relationship, it has been hard.  first world problems maybe? My broken heart will heal, the dog will get used to his new digs, and I find myself with a lot more time on my hands than I have had in many years.  So I try to keep busy setting up the new space, getting into a routine, and reading a lot more.  There was one piece of information that affected me profoundly though.  Advice on how to be vulnerable and present for myself in every day life.  If I am willing to go to bat for me, and everything I wish to have in this life, I have to put myself out there right?

Here is where food for thought comes into play:

I have a family member that consistently makes the wrong choices and expects other family members to bail them out.  Until this very moment I had resided them to “duck” syndrome.  IE if it walks like a duck and it talks like a duck, it’s a duck right?  Duck meaning, idiot in this case.  But… what if? Maybe.. just maybe..this person keeps putting themselves in situations because they are trying.  Truly trying to make themselves better or have something better than they’ve already had.  Are they a duck? or are they being vulnerable putting themselves out front and center, bringing it to the mat every day in hopes of having a better life?

Namaste

Baggage

Today my fellow imps, it is time to remind you of baggage.  Baggage from friends, from your family, your job, and most importantly the baggage [obstacles] you put in your own way and continue to trip over.

Whenever you are faced with a WTF moment, often times we stop, we disseminate to ourselves, and we compartmentalize in a poor attempt to prioritize everything that needs to be done.

Fact-we don’t need to do anything EXCEPT the one thing we originally set out to do

Fact-we place busy work on the to do list EVERY day to avoid getting to the root of the problems or the task at hand

Weather it is fear, weather it is ignorance, weather it is sheer laziness, regardless of the reason, we get in our own way and we run like a rat on a wheel spinning into nowhere. It’s time to clean up our own lives, clean up our messes, remove the clutter, task at hand.  ONE thing today people, get that ONE thing done.  Write it down, look at it, then GO KICK ITS ASS.. we can do this! Whatever, whenever, and wherever the task takes us, that is the simplistic message and meaning of it all.

Namaste

Is not to imitate, but to inspire.

Violence in today’s society, is at an all time alarming high.  Turn on the tv, open a news paper, or any www online browser and headlines are all over.

When I was 18, I worked as a clerk in a gas station that stayed open until 10pm.  Being a young single female, it was not a good idea at the time.  It was directly located across the street from a mental health facility that was well known for its residents to sneak out and climb the fence at night.  Not a bad neighborhood, just one in transition. But at 18 we all think we’re invincible right?  Long story short-I was robbed not once but twice in one week.  The first time was at night, and the second time was during the day.  Two men at gun point the first time, and one man with a screwdriver at 3pm in the afternoon the second.  My recollection at the time was “not again wtf”.  Hindsight is 20/20 though.  Here is the one solid memory recollection from the second hold up.  The kid said thank you and im sorry.  What sad state of desperate affairs do you think drove him to that?  Was it poverty? addiction?  The next time someone [anyone] attempts to do you harm, remember the fear and desperation in their lives, take a moment to keep yourself safe, and possibly offer to help them.  Turn the situation around.  You may very well be saving a life yourself.  I know it sounds crazy-I wish I could explain it better.  This is my modern day interpretation of turning the other cheek.

Namaste