Project: Day 3~Humility

This is one of the most profound stories I have ever read in my life. Mainly because I am aware of who this person is, and how he effects my social circle of friends. A while back I made a WWJD post. WWJD stands for what would jesus do, referring to a group of over anxious Christians. To each his own you know? Anyway, I saw a photo of this particular man on one of my friends facebook pages, she had friended him through a different circle of people. In passing I had mentioned what a cutie he was and she fessed up that she had started dating him. Much to my shock, suprirse and excitement I was so thrilled for her. In 25+ years we had never agreed on one anothers suitor choices, especially because she liked the rough and tumbled ones. I digress.

This gentleman was asked to share his story as to how he came to love and have faith in Jesus. The other day I was blessed enough to read it. I read it two or three times a day for at least a week, and cried more than half the times every time it was re-read. Your lesson of the day is Humility. In the last 5 years I have lost a brother, an uncle and a father due to either addiction or illness.

*read the story
*re-read the story
*think about your life
*remember how truly humble we need to remain in order for good things to come to us

Here is my testimony:
I stood alone, feeling abandoned, in the desert outside Las Vegas, screaming into the night sky. “God, how can I snap out of this addiction; I want to be a dad again to my children. Help me to get to Illinois and be the man you want me to be.” In my mind I clearly heard God say: “Just go.” I was a homeless crystal meth addict and was becoming a full-blown criminal. My bed was an abandoned old couch out in the desert. That was the beginning of a miraculous series of events that led me first to Illinois, then to the Rockford Rescue Mission, and today, restored, free and joyfully in the Process of Recovery.
Psalm 51:17 “The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.”
That night in the Las Vegas desert was so far from the normal life I had lived. I grew up in a family of non-believers. I never attended church or touched a Bible until I was in my 30’s. I was an atheist, and clueless about God. During my nine years in the U. S. Coast Guard, I made fun of Christians– even when I found out they were praying for me. I used to equate God with the Tooth-fairy or Santa Clause; just another made up tale. Once I left the military, I pursued a real-estate career back in my hometown of Las Vegas. I flew out to a real-estate conference in Orlando, Fla., in 1998, a colleague and I struck up a conversation with a stranger on a bus. We ended up having dinner with him at an Olive Garden, and he talked to us about Jesus. For some reason, I believed him. That night, when I got back to my hotel room, something came over me, I just started crying. I was on my knees, crying out to God. “I need you, and accept you Jesus.” This discourse between Jesus and I lasted 15 minutes or more. I didn’t know what was going on, but I wasn’t an atheist anymore, because I now know He exists. But I didn’t do anything with my new belief other than put it on the shelf. That was the start of serious spiritual warfare. There were big problems in my marriage that I wasn’t dealing with, and I didn’t like being a high pressure real estate salesman. Someone in the real-estate business asked me if I would like to try some “Speed”. It was Crystal meth, and I was hooked immediately. I loved it. The meth was so cheap — $20 would last me two days – and it made me insane. I would stay awake for over a week at a time, and then I would sleep for three days straight. I lost a lot of weight that first year, and my family put it together that I was on drugs. In 2004 in a rage I quit my job. My wife divorced me in November 2005, and left with our two kids for Illinois, where her family was.
I just gave in to the drug lifestyle. I abandoned all of my life’s belongings. Completely homeless, I was living in my truck. A few months later, I lent my truck to one of my fellow meth addicts to go steal from Wal-Mart … and never saw him or my truck again. Now I was street homeless, with only a backpack. I lived in the desert with other meth addicts, and started to learn how they survived. We’d steal stuff from Wal-Mart, then return it for the money, or pull some scam on the casinos in the area, and scurry back into the desert. With little effort, I tried rehab, but without success. My appetite for meth was just too powerful. But, this time, as I screamed out to God in the desert night, something changed. I was asking God himself. A kind of calm came over me. I walked all day to get to the Las Vegas Rescue Mission, where I spent two weeks praising God and wondering what was next. I knew I was in for a journey.
I remembered God saying “Just Go”, when I was out in the desert. So, I went to McCarran Airport in Las Vegas with my most recent military disability check, and bought a one-way ticket to Chicago-O’Hare. Everything I owned was in my small backpack. When I got to O’Hare, I wandered around the airport for hours. I had no clue what to do. Near the bus stops, they announced over the intercom that a bus was leaving for Rockford. I think I have heard of Rockford. “What area code is Rockford in?” I asked the counter attendant. “Eight-one-five.” “That’s the same as my kids.” They lived with my ex-wife in Sycamore. I had just enough money. I took the bus to Rockford, and spent the night along a drainage ditch near Wal-Mart on East State Street. I wandered into the Red Roof Inn and leafed through a phone book. And I found myself staring at an ad for the Rockford Rescue Mission. I’d been thinking of going to a homeless veteran’s center, but God had other plans. When I was at the Red Roof Inn, I called my ex-wife. She agreed to drive up from Sycamore and meet me at the food court in the Cherry Vale mall so I could see my kids that I hadn’t seen in a 2 years. I walked from the Red Roof Inn to the Mall. When I saw my kids, it was like a dream come true. We ate and visited. That’s when I asked her to drive me to the mission. That first night at the Mission’s chapel service, I thought to myself, “This is it.” I entered the Life Recovery program and with the help of Jesus my path has been clear ever since. I realized who I am in Christ.
2 Corinthians 5:17. This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!
After recovery treatment at the Mission, it was time to start looking for a job. I wasn’t having any luck. I was frustrated looking for a job. Out of the blue, a company called me for an interview. I never applied for a job at this company. They said they saw my resume on Monster.com and would like to interview me. This could only be the work of God. The next day, I interviewed with Waldom Electronics. The interview was going well until the HR lady asked if I would talk about a hero I have had in my life. Without hesitating, I said “Jesus is my hero. What he has done to rescue me, and us, blows my mind.” After I spoke, I was wondering how well it was received. To my amazement, they offered me the job on the spot.
Thanks to God, I have a great job as an electronic technician. I rent a little house on the south side of Rockford. My ex-wife trusts me now. I regularly spend time with my daughter, who’s 13, and my son, who’s 4. Everything isn’t perfect. Meth has aged me, and has caused some involuntary twitches. Even though God has forgiven me of my sins, there are still consequences for my sin.
Now, I am a fully devoted follower of Jesus. Heartland is my home church. My children spend every weekend at my house and I often remember I told God I wanted to be a dad again. God did it! I regularly pray, read scripture and try to apply what I read in the Bible to every aspect of my life. It is pretty cool having a relationship with God. I still make mistakes, but I have a loving Holy Spirit who teaches me and walks me through my mistakes. Through Jesus I have turned from my previous way of life and look to Him to direct my paths. I know God is real. And he will Help us Recover. He chose me and I choose to follow Him. I’m a task-oriented person, and I’ve been on task with Recovery since that night in the Las Vegas desert. That was when I started not just believing in Jesus, but following Him. Those aren’t just stories in the Bible. Jesus does rescue.
The only encouragement I can offer is when you are a follower of Jesus, Recovery is a side effect. Just follow Jesus

–
God Bless…

Project: Day 2 ~ Forgiveness

Most days we forget who we are. We hop on the wheel, we run until we’re tired, and when we hop off our day is done. Going through the daily human comfort we call routine. We dismiss [suppress] things and people that we just can’t deal with. Yet often times these same situations and family/friend members are there to remind us of how much they drive us out of our mind. There are some things in this life you cannot undo. Once the words or decisions have come out, you cannot take them back or make it better. Grudges are held, feelings are hurt, and silence often accompanies the aftermath. Where is the healing in any of that? It’s almost impossible to see the forest through the trees. What you neglected to remember is that within all of this, you are the only one that will remain effected, unless there is some kind of forgiveness. Humans do not forget when bruised by one they care about. So you’ve carried around this bag of bricks for many years, and you no longer think about what has effected you. You must learn to forgive yourself before you forgive others. It’s okay to be angry, or hurt. It’s okay to feel the way you feel. Emotions are debilitating if not kept in check. This is not to be confused with expression and communication. But the longer you leave them unattended the deeper they impact you.

The exercise
Take out a sheet of paper and a pen. Give yourself about 10 minutes for this, it won’t take long because you already have the answers. Draw a line down the middle of the sheet of paper. In the left column start to write the names of the people that hurt you in the past, or continually do so in the present. The first name you must start with, is yourself. Just trust me on this. On the right side, answer these questions. The questions must be applied to each individual you write. EVEN IF you only list your own name, for now that’s a great start. Here are your questions to ask and answer:

1. what exactly took place? [the action that caused this riff]
2. looking back what should I have done?
3. does it really effect my daily life now?
4. is there a battle of control working here?
5. will I finally be able to just accept a life lesson [to strengthen myself] and move on?

Say to yourself
I forgive ” ” [myself] for carrying such a heavy load and burdening me with it
I [they] are only human
I forgive myself for making the wrong decisions in the past
I will move forward from this moment on placing myself and my well being before all others and I promise myself to keep myself within the positive no longer allowing anyone to drain me of my reserves and I will no longer enable [this person] to bring me down

Time and Life are bedfellows you know. There are only a few facts known about the pair. The first is that they wait for no one. The second is that they will always move on. With or without you. Without sadness, without burden, and they never look back. You however miss their opportunities in the blink of an eye. It’s time you learn from the examples set forth by time and life and relieve yourself from guilt, sadness of times gone by, and mourning the loss. In the afterlife of death, you will be home and none of this existence will matter except for the lessons you learn while you’re here.

Namaste

Project: Day 1 ~ Release

You’re in the car driving to wherever it is you normally head out too on your daily routine. Some have aggravation, some just don’t feel good, and some people are angry. Usually the first indication that release is needed comes in the form of tightness in the chest or sinus pain behind the eyes. You think it’s allergies but your body would beg to differ.

The exercise
This can be done within a matter of seconds. You don’t need to close your eyes or focus your breathing or stop the world to perform the first meditation. It will be done in the blink of an eye, literally within the 60 seconds you have at a red light in traffic. Envision a purple ball of light next to you. Make it bright and glowing like embers in a fire, only purple. Place your palm in front of your chest about 2-3 inches and make sure your hand is flat, palm side facing your skin. Now look inside and force out all of the black energies welling within. As the seconds tick away, you should be able to see the negativity mass getting larger in front of your chest. Keep it spiraling into a ball controlled by the center of your palm. This takes a total of no more than 15 seconds to do. Move your palm above the ball of purple light. Notice the negativity starting to whirl like dust through a vacuum. Force the negativity into the ball of light. Purple will neutralize it. It’s a give and take exercise. The universe is more than happy to take this from you.

When the exercise is complete, make sure you thank the universe. Take a deep breath, and carry on with your day. This is especially GREAT for people with road rage. It makes a drastic difference in your morning. For an extended lesson, do it at home and spend more than just the 60 seconds in the car releasing something. You can apply this exercise to just about anything.
*Illness
*anger
*regret
*sadness

Have a great day!

Sonic

Oh, I have people!

I was on the phone tonight with my web designer finishing up the last touches of the new site. We go back many years, so joking commences throughout the conversation. We’re debating page layout and I say to her in jest “hurry up I have people waiting on me dammit!”. She just laughed and told me “you don’t have people”. And we laughed some more. After a back and forth like we usually do I just yelled hurry up! She shrugged me off like she usually does and mainly this post is for her. Don’t mess with karma GL you want some of this!?! {as I laugh hysterically}.

The project

Earlier this year I had attempted a 10 day meditation project. I ended up moving instead, hence no follow up to the project(ed) postings. I will get to it within the next week.

Demonic presence and the balance of life

I was watching a paranormal reality show last night where a young girl had to go through an exorcism. Having had several years experience investigating the paranormal and dealing with dark entities I can tell you flat out, I am no hero. I am no savior, I am no saint and I am not fearless. After a move back to my home town in the Midwest five years ago I attempted to assemble a new team of people with no luck. Everything happens for a reason of course. But last night’s show got me thinking. A pastor was brought in to perform the exercise, family was there, the investigators were there and a well known medium was there. I thought about this poor girl this morning as I awoke. I wondered what ever happened to her. I know that she suffered another attack a month after the exorcism. The demonic relapse [as it were] was so bad she was taken to the hospital. Dark entities not only attach themselves to places but people as well. So all of this has brought me to my current state of mind.

If in fact I had to encounter them again would my faith be strong enough to endure the test? Because that is what they do. Demons and dark entities test your faith. Of course everyone places fear up front and center when it comes to such a topic. But do not displace caution and reality for the blanket of fear. Do not confuse removing yourself from the situation to regroup a sign of weakness. If the forces were to come at me I started to wonder mentally how would I be tested? Would I throw myself on top of them and start spewing religious passage? Would I drown them in holy water? Would I envision the source and try to remove it with divine light? All and everything in your existence must have balance. If there was a way for the demon to enter, there is a way for the demon to exit and not necessarily on his own accord. This leads me to faith. I practice what I preach. I live every day by the same ever expanding guidelines within the universal law that I am most familiar with and understand. Does it hurt to enter a house of God and pray? I believe the ritual would cleanse the soul. We all need our quiet devout time, be it at the coffee table with our eyes closed talking to our God, or kneeling in a church. The point is this, do you practice what you preach?

I make it a very hard rule within this existence never to what if myself or any situation. But the fact that evil or darkness [negative energy no matter how you label it] DOES exist, makes me aware, humbled and appreciative of my gifts and beliefs. So what would I do if the boogie man came knocking today? Keep the faith my friends….keep the faith.

Namastae

You can’t always know who you really are

In this particular space and time, you have but one existence. This personal existence is filled with minutia of day to day living. If you were allowed one thing, a gift in your life what would you choose? Everything has an up and a down. Winning the lottery would create opportunities you would not regularly have available to you. Increased taxes, material wealth, and exposure to the gluttonous side of existence would welcome you to its doors. Material things do not bring happiness. Money does not bring happiness. The experiences from moment to moment are what resonate within our DNA. Would you wish for a flower garden? Or perhaps be charitable and wish away someone else’s illness or remove someone else’s burden. All it takes is one wish verbalized to the universe. But you may not believe it. The law of cause and effect applies in all realms of life. No good deed goes unnoticed, no bad deed goes unpunished. Karma has its own accountants and they are well aware of everything we do, and we wish for.

There is not a day that goes by that I am not reminded of my fortune within this realm. I’m not rich; I don’t have the shiniest toys, the fanciest things, the most comfortable surroundings. But I have recognized that within I carry more than 99% of the people I encounter. Pure joy. I find it in feeding my family and friends, in the scent of the wind or warm water from the shower. Simplicity, humility, graciousness. All of which I must remind myself are the only common goals of existence. Kindness is free kids, share the wealth. I am all over the place today in my post, and I’ve said all of this before so it is nothing new. So why do I keep repeating it? Because one day if only one of you understand it and the light bulb goes on, I will have succeeded in changing the world around me. What are you doing to encourage personal harmony and growth?

Here is the question you must ask yourself before placing thoughts into action. Is it worth the karma? Will I be surrounding myself with healthy ideals and virtues? Do I emit positive energy? Are my emotions in a state of good health or decay? Check yourself and your ego at the door. Everything you believed was your world is really a shred of the tiniest existence of the whole. But even that minute existence has the ability to overwhelm, overpower, and over joy someone else’s being.

Namastae

Daily events versus deep thoughts

There is only so much thought a human can process in the day. Do you agree with that statement? If you do, your interpretation of the world you live in is very limited. Short of caffeine at midnight it should be easy to keep yourself awake pondering the mysteries of life.

I have no great prophecy for you today. The seasons are changing and as we arm ourselves with warmth and comfortable surroundings [as much as we can that is] getting ready for a cocoon period I am reminded that time waits for no one. What have I failed to achieve this year that I wished to do?

Did you have a check list? Have you done anything about it? The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Namastae

There are no accidents in this life

Sunday afternoon I received an email from someone I had not seen or spoken to in 11 years.  Time changes people for the better or worse, but one thing is certain and time just like the weather always changes us.  What I once knew is no longer in existence.  What I now know given the brief window [yet again] is that I appreciate my life and what I have accomplished thus far.

I have discovered within the last 5 years that when something bad happens to me, I wipe it from my memory like a hard drive.  It is also the reason I have no memory as a child.  My mother was divorced when I was 3, and my earliest recollection of childhood was at around age 8.  The same standard holds true for old friends that have come and gone through the years.  But one very distinct gift has shined through every time.  I was given yet again the opportunity to see two people who were once my entire social world.  And I have to tell you, I’m not sure what karma gift train I got on this weekend but I am loving the ride.  Everyone has grown up and experienced so many good and bad things throughout the past decade that it’s literally shaped them into different people.  Except the fact that John still won’t let me touch his hair LOL.

The point is this, love who you are, love where you are, and more importantly it’s okay to not know where you are going but really know what you need from the world.  How is the universe going to bring you love if you lack the love and respect you won’t even give to yourself.

Ever thankful,

Namastae

Sometimes Time Stops for us..

Last night I was walking in a downtown suburb, eating gilato with family, enjoying a cool breezy evening. I looked across the street and there was someone I used to know many years ago. His physical appearance had not changed. But behind him was a wagon with 2 small children in it. I knew instantly they were his. I was awestruck as I watched them walk down the street. Even though we had not parted on good terms I felt the love and happiness he expressed as he walked and talked with his family members through the streets. It was a gift! I dare not spoil the moment by yelling his name or interrupting his outing with family to say hi.

Imagine the cosmos giving you a rare glimpse of people that have come and gone throughout your existence here. If you could view it through a window or a crystal ball, would you appreciate that chance? I am more thankful that I was overwhelmingly happy for him than anything else. Not only was I given a rare opportunity, I am aware of the gifts within that also enabled me to feel what he was feeling.

Life is good..